Moms Love Carbs…And Other Unexpected Lessons I Learned at MOPS

Yesterday my first piece of writing was shared on the MOPS blog Hello, Dearest. I am not too vain to admit that I’m excited and honored, and hopeful that the lessons God has taught me this year will also serves as an encouragement to others.

After all, I know I can’t be the only one who is still tempted to compare myself to others when I look around and see women I admire doing really great things. It happens all the time. But just like I tell my kids when they are whining about a certain unfairness in their little lives, you can choose what you do with your feelings. {Keep reading about comparison, defeat, and inspiration on Hello, Dearest}.

MOPS stands for mothers of preschoolers, but once you visit a group you quickly see that this acronym only skims the surface in defining the collection of women who have come together for encouragement, laughter, friendship, and, of course, a delicious hot breakfast that they do not have to share.

Several years ago, I joined a local MOPS group. I thought I knew why I joined the group– I was having a hard time meeting people and making friends in a new town. But it wasn’t long before I realized that my motivation for becoming a MOPS mom also only skimmed the surface of what I would get in return.

This post has been on my to-write list for a while, and so I’m sharing it today in part because of my appreciation for MOPS, and in part simply because the lessons are bigger than any group of young mothers.

Moms Love Carbs…
And Other Unexpected Lessons I Learned at MOPS

How to Make Friends in a Crowd of Strangers

My first experience with MOPS was an invitation to a “bubble playdate” at the end of the summer. Dozens of moms and their children gathered together to mingle and kick off another years of MOPS meetings.

To say that showing up at an event where I literally knew no one was daunting for this introvert is an understatement.

Walking onto the hot asphalt that summer day started the process of learning that being comfortable in a crowd is really not about me. The key to not running away, the key to looking confident (even when you feel anything but), is to take the focus off the impression you want to make and to put it on finding ways to be a blessing to others. 

I’ve shared more about how to overcome shyness in another post, but the essence is self-forgetfulness, and I’m grateful to MOPS for the opportunities over the years to put this into practice.

Differences Don’t Have to Divide

Before I joined MOPS, most of my friendships and regular interactions with others took place at church or in other somewhat homogenous groupings. Finding common ground was easy and many of our beliefs and practices were strikingly similar.

What I found around the table in my small group at MOPS, though, were different backgrounds, different parenting methods, different convictions…different this, different that.

Honestly? Learning to see beauty in the differences was one of the most humbling and stretching aspects of MOPS for me.

There is not one way to do most things. And admitting that this was a shift for me is admitting that MOPS has helped to break down areas of pride in my life, and to see that it’s never the pragmatic advice that we most need– it’s the grace of God spanning the differences and reaching the heart.

Finding common ground does not mean abandoning convictions. It means looking a person in the eyes and seeing that at the core, common ground is much deeper than first glances may appear. It’s humanity and struggle. It’s compassion and humor.

It’s much more than fashion, schooling, discipline, diet, or any number of other areas we are prone to let divide us.

Listening Builds Bridges Faster than Giving Advice

I am pragmatic. A fixer. An encourager. Which is probably why blogging fills me up. I want to help when I can and offer my experience in hope of lightening a friend’s load.

What comes less naturally to me is empathizing.

You don’t get to know people, though, in a series of one-way conversations. Everyone has a story worth sharing and I loved the years I spent in MOPS getting to hear these stories.

Spouting advice before listening is foolish at best, and arrogant at worst. Let’s just say MOPS has helped me be less foolish and to practice my empathetic ear.

Listen first. Ask good questions. Give advice as needed.

It’s Not Just Moms in the “Mom Group”

Each morning when we arrived for our meeting, we dropped off our kids to play in the childcare areas. The next two hours were glorious minutes of uninterrupted conversations, focused attention, and too many donuts.

Without our kids tugging at our sleeves or captivating all our attention, we could just be us. Not so-and-so’s mom.

Discovering who the cruise aficionados were, whose humor and wit propelled a popular blog, who were the readers, the entertainment experts, the athletes, and the nature lovers was half the fun.

We could get lost in potty training sagas and tales of picky eating battles, but we didn’t have to.

The Power of Carbs is Strong

Breakfast casseroles. Muffins. Donuts. Bagels. Sweet breads. Fresh fruit. Cookies. Cake. Candy. Juice. Coffee.

Every.Single.One.

Every.Single.Meeting.

Perhaps the breakfast spread was what we really came for. It certainly is what kept us punctual.

Providing breakfast was a serious thing in our group, you guys. No flying by the seat of your pants allowed. Sign-ups. Reminders. Warnings about the dire consequences of forgetting.

I can’t say that I blame anyone for taking it so seriously. I know I would have been sorely disappointed if I missed the opportunity to eat a week’s worth of breakfast foods in one sitting.

{Need breakfast for a crowd? These make-ahead cinnamon rolls and this yogurt parfait with strawberries and dark chocolate granola both originated from a need to bring food for the mommy masses}.

If you haven’t figured this out by now, MOPS is great. If you are a mom of young kids wanting more community, find a group near you and see if these unexpected lessons are true for you too.

Are you a MOPS mom?

Have you found these lessons to be true in your groups of friends?

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